Many of us are shy talking to the opposite sex. That takes us nowhere. We are scared of talking to any person of opposite sex. Something happens that stops us. Why do we get scared? We are not scared of talking to persons of our own sex. We are confident about ourselves. We have enough self-esteem, and we value ourselves as desirable. Then why? It is as if there is a switch in the mind that is switched off and says no when it comes to talking with persons of opposite sex.
What can be done about this? This problem has to do with our mind. Our mind tells us that we are not worthy. We may be rejected. We may be laughed at. Our mind warns us to defend ourselves from this and says no - you are not to approach anyone from the opposite sex. This is the mechanism of mind. Fight or flight. In this case, we resort to flight. But with this running away, we will never get a desirable partner. We will always remain alone and only wistfully watch other couples going around. So what should we do?
The very first step in such cases is to evaluate our self and compare ourselves with our friends. Are we as smart as they are? Are we as intelligent as they are? Are we as confident as they are? Are we as presentable as they are? Is our personality equally good? On most of these issues you may find that you are scoring more points than your friends. So one thing is established. You are a desirable person. If your friends are not shy, why are you? Gather the strength and approach persons of opposite sex with confidence. Don't worry about rejections. There can be many reasons for that. Approach smartly and you will surely get someone good to date.
Impress With Confidence
Many people find it stressful to go on a first date. You feel under pressure to impress, you feel that you are under scrutiny and your faults will be exposed, you feel that some chance remark you make could be enough to ruin the entire evening. The effect of all these things can be greatly reduced by boosting your confidence. If you give out self confidence, this will be more attractive to your date and you'll enjoy the evening more. So how can you make yourself more confident?
Having confidence is just a state of mind, and it's more a matter of what "stories" you're telling yourself than it is about any good qualities or skills you might have. By this I mean that you keep telling yourself you are one of those people that are always the centre of attention. You know the type - the person that everyone is looking at and that everyone wants to talk to. If you tell yourself you are that kind of person then you are more likely to become that kind of person. So picture yourself as a confident person, work on keeping that mental image of yourself at all times.
Remember that it's only a date after all. It's not a matter of life or death. It won't decide the whole rest of your life, unless you end up marrying the person
you're going on the date with! So just enjoy the date for what it is, and keep telling yourself that's what you're there to do. This kind of thinking can take a lot of pressure off you, and make you seem more relaxed, which in turn will make you more attractive.
Tell the truth. Ther's no point in trying to pretend you are someone you're not or that you can do things you can't really do. For one thing it's hard work remembering what you've said when you made things up. Also, if you go out on another date with that person, eventually they're going to find out that you didn't tell the truth. This can be awkward at the very least and might lead to the loss of a potentially nice relationship. So just be yourself.
Of course, you want to play up your strengths and play down any weaknesses you might have. That's only natural. But don't do that at the expense of telling the truth. here is a difference. Your date will almost certainly be trying to highlight their own good points as well, that's just one of the rules of the dating game.
If you tell yourself that you are a special person, and an attractive person, and you talk yourself into confidence in yourself, it's more likely than not that your date will have confidence in you too.
